


What Could've Been?

by Fall_Leaves_Fics



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Jeonghan left seventeen, Kim Samuel - Freeform, Other, Yeah that's right, mingming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:02:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23731279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fall_Leaves_Fics/pseuds/Fall_Leaves_Fics
Summary: Jeonghan realizes what he missed out on when he decided to leave Seventeen before debut.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	What Could've Been?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThatFangurlTho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatFangurlTho/gifts).



A sigh left Jeonghan’s lips as he shrugged his overcoat off, tossing it onto an empty chair as he entered his dark house. He turned the lights on as he moved through his large living room, the crystal chandelier leaving dancing refractions across the room. He looked out the large window at the late night scene outside, stretching out his aching shoulders and groaning slightly in pain. Jeonghan rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt and undid his tie as he walked to the kitchen, pulling a Tupperware bin out of the fridge and sticking it in the microwave.   
Absentmindedly, he turned the television on, and an overwhelmingly loud cheering filled the silent room, drawing his attention immediately and shocking him to the very core.   
It was an award show, something he never watched because of them, but wouldn’t you know? They were on the screen anyway, giving their speeches and accepting a trophy. The screen behind them said “Best Male Choreography,” and that made him smile, even if the thought brought bittersweet tears to his eyes. They were always such good dancers, and it looks like they had kept it as part of their staple.   
When he had turned the television on, Seungcheol had been talking and thanking their fans and their families, but now he was passing the mic to Mingyu. Jeonghan smile widened, a single tear breaking his resolve and trailing down his cheek. Not everyone spoke, but he enjoyed the moment looking at all their faces. He hadn’t seen them in years, not since he left in 2014, before they debuted. Seokmin really grew into his face, Dino looked so much more mature, Woozi was much buffer, and.. maybe a little taller? It was hard to tell, but they all looked so different, yet so the same...   
He touched his cheek and noticed the wetness there, surprising himself and drawing his attention away from the screen for the first time in minutes. He looked over his shoulder at the microwave and noticed the timer was done, but more cheering drew his attention back to the screen. Junhui took the mic and was speaking in Chinese, probably thanking his family too, but he couldn’t help but think about how different he looked, too. Much more comfortable, much more confident. Junhui handed the mic to someone else, and they spoke in Chinese too.. could that be MingMing? It had been so long, he looked so different. The camera panned out, and he strained his eyes, looking in closer.   
“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen-“   
The breath left his throat.   
“Samuel?”  
It was him, their small maknae from so long ago. More tears fell from his eyes as he smiled at his old friends again, friends he hadn’t spoken to since his betrayal.   
They left the stage, bowing and cheering and smiling and waving to all of their fans. He could swear he saw some of them blow kisses to the camera and the crowd, specifically Hoshi and Seungkwan. He smiled longingly at the screen before clicking the power off button, not caring about any of the other groups or awards. Jeonghan looked back at his sad, little kitchen, in his huge, empty home, and a sob broke free from his chest, causing him to crumple down against his kitchen counter, tears freely falling down his face.   
He missed them so much.  
\---  
December, 11th, 2014  
“Are you sure you want to cancel the contract?”   
Jeonghan shook his head, running a hand through his shoulder length hair, growing out for the debut but already failing to meet its purpose. “I can’t do this anymore, CEO Han.. we.. we’re not gonna make it, and.. and I’ll be the anchor.”   
Seung-su sighed and nodded, looking over the contract in his hand and sliding it to Jeonghan across the table. “If that’s your decision, I can’t stop you.. but have you told them?”  
Jeonghan bit his lip before shaking his head once, slowly, looking down at his lap in shame. “I can’t.. I can’t look Seungcheol in the face and tell him I don’t believe in us, but if I don’t, then it’ll be like lying to him.”   
The CEO nodded again, tapping a finger on the table as he thought. “You contract will be void as soon as you sign the dotted line, I’ll take care of telling Seungcheol.” He leaned forward in his chair, elbows resting on the table and hands locking in front of him. “But you have to understand Jeonghan, they aren’t allowed contact with you after this. You’ll be a distraction, and the debut is too close to afford that.”   
Jeonghan nodded and slowly picked up the pen on the table, his hand shaking slightly as he signed his signature on the line. He paused for a minute, tip of his pen on the last line of his signature, almost questioning if he still wanted to go through with it. There was no objection. Hurriedly, he thrust it across the table and stood, collecting his bag and walking out of the room, his head down and trained on his feet, his focus on getting out of the building.   
Only to literally bump into Seungcheol in the hallway.  
He had smiled at him, and a knife was thrust into Jeonghan’s heart. He tried to smile back, but his emotions couldn’t be contained anymore, and his lips shook with his anger and anxiety.   
Of course, Seungcheol saw it immediately. He stopped, reaching a hand out for Jeonghan’s arm. “Jeonghan, what’s up?”  
Jeonghan shook his head, waving a hand and mustering up a more realistic smile. “Nothing, nothing’s wrong. Just anxiety. About the debut.” He felt his voice was almost robotic, strained and stiff with his lies, but the truth would be that much harder to say.   
The leader nodded and smiled his reassuring smile, the look a leader should always give a struggling teammate. “If you want to sit out at practice, don’t be afraid to take it easy. You need to be healthy, above all else.”  
The knife twisted deeper, but Jeonghan nodded, smiling again. “Don’t worry, I’ll be careful.”  
Seungcheol smiled again, turning around and walking into the CEO’s office. Jeonghan stood there for merely a second before walking quickly down the hall to the elevator, tapping his foot anxiously while waiting to get in. When the door opened, he hurried inside and began tapping the door close button over and over, but it takes so damn long. He heard a door slam, and his heart stopped. Running footsteps, coming towards him. He hit the button harder, again and again, the door finally starting to close. His tears were falling freely now, but he kept his eyes on the ground, his hand on the button for the lobby. He heard Seungcheol’s voice call him, and his head lifted on habit, looking right between the closing doors at Seungcheol’s face, a face full of confusion and sadness, betrayal, failure.   
And the doors closed.


End file.
